When preparation still isn't enough!

I think you would have to be a little out of the loop to not get, that I REALLY WANT this job i'm going for.  Well my interview was yesterday.  I returned home, feeling completely and totally deflated.
It made me think of the office episode when Michael talks about his weaknesses and he is "TOO MOTIVATED"  well, that was me.  I want this job so much that I think I even scared myself.  I was so driven that I drove off the cliff.  After a 1.5 hr orientation we went to the interview.  I interviewed with 2 managers, one male and one female.  It was way cool.  I got started talking.... and it was like BLAH.... I just kept talking and talking and I swear all they could do was not stick a sock in my mouth.  I feel like the "perfect" candiate, however... I think I was portrayed as fake.  However that was my true emotion, it wasn't fake, it was the real me.  After the 1 hr + interview, it was time for the test.

After the interview, the thought in my head was... whats the point.  I KNOW that after the interview, they wont want me.. However I prepped this much, i might as well try.  It wasn't a difficult test, however it was an annoying one.. which made my head hurt.  If you know what im talking about.  I was so happy when I was done, and was so ready to go home.
I get to my car, ready to call my hubby, cry and lament about my heartbreak.. HOWEVER my phone is dead.  REALLY how, I had like 40% batt when I went in..  I then had to spend the WHOLE drive home thinking over it... over and over and over again.  Trying to figure out what I had even said.  Honestly, I couldn't even put that hour interview back into my head to break it down.

All of my employees at work, knew I had the interview, I was trying to figure out how I was gonna tell EVERYONE that I SUCK.. That is how I felt.  I didn't want to have to explain myself, but I told everyone I was going in, so I was stuck.  I didn't know what to do.

On the drive home, I did one of those things you NEVER should do.  I asked My Liam (6yr old) "Mommy went for a job interview do you think I got the job? Yes or No"  Response.  "YES"  I wasn't sure how to process that, more then anything it just made my heart hurt more.

After picking up my boys i FINALLY got home.  First thing I did was plug in my phone and used the house phone to call my honey... NO ANSWER.... ARG.  I was feeling so crummy I just wanted to hear my sweeties voice.  I had to sit and think through it even more. I started to think of other firms I should prepare to apply for.  I was not sure I would be willing to go back to the same place again, and even show my face.
I finally got to talk to my sweetheart.  He was so sweet and supportive. I told him about the process and he kept saying "you totally have the job" "don't doubt yourself, you have this"  It was sweet, however I knew that he was just trying to be the wonderful and supportive husband he is.

Not sure how, but I did get some sleep.  Walking into work the next day was rough.  It felt like the walk of shame.  I told many that I felt I did really bad.  I had a few that were quite happy, because they don't want me to leave.  So that was nice knowing that people still wanted me around.
what else could I do?

I spent alot of the evening before praying and trying to cope.  The Lord is always there, and has a plan for us, even if we REALLY hate the consequences!